Do you know what's really important for kids? Daddy time. No matter if you are together, divorced, separated, never married or a one night stand. If the father is in the picture- ONE on ONE daddy time is extremely important. My kids often get more "obnoxious" if they need more attention... Maybe you have noticed this too.
In our house, my kids value their daddy time more than any time in the world. One, he is the fun parent... Two, they don't get to see him as much. He manages the night shift, which means he works from 8p to 6a and needs to sleep during the day. He works Monday-Friday so we typically get half a day Saturday and Sunday with his full attention. It can be hard and I often feel like I'm living the single mother life with the benefit of being funded. My husband is a fun dude and is strong and athletic. He lifts, throws and chases the kids around. Jumps on the trampoline, initiates water fights and pool days. Indoor campouts and smore making fire pit adventures. Walks around the neighborhood and many many more activities make him super entertaining and desired... Even by my nephew.
If you have a significant other or father of your children who tends to sporadically make an
appearance, or if you ARE a dad who thinks one on one time is not important and you can just do group activities with everyone, I am here to tell you thats BS. Your kids ABSOLUTELY benefit from one on one time and so does your relationship. You will learn so much about your kids if you spend one on one time with them. Even if it's once a week. For example, I have 3 kids. My husband takes my 8 year old on a special one on one outing 2x per week (he stays up a little longer and does an early morning activity like a jog, walk, park excursion etc) and once a week with my 3 and 2 year old.
This makes each kid feel special and loved and helps my husband feel like he gets to see them and love them. Then we all spend time together on the weekends. It also makes it easier if he and I want to go on a date- they don't feel like they need to steal his attention and are more content to let us go out without them.
Family time is an essential part of a good family relationship, but what's even more important is our kids knowing they are loved by both parents. Particularly the busier or most absent parent. Be it by circumstance, distance, relationship or work schedule.... Make time for your kids individually. If you live in a home where you have biological and step children, I think this is almost more important. It helps your step kids feel loved and special, and it helps your biological kids know they are still JUST as important to you as they once were. That just because you have new family members, doesn't mean you will forget about them.
Spend one on one time with your kids and encourage their father's or other parent to do the same. Why? Because Mama, THEY are WORTH it! Until next time!
