I would love to go back in time and write this out in a juicy detailed form, but I am not sure I can remember it all. Instead, I would love to share all the photos and briefly describe what transpired and the insights I gained from this trip.
Day 3 of our trip we went Mini golfing at this adorable dino-themed course. We played through both courses and we both won a round. We enjoyed this park as it reminded us of our dating days when we often mini-golfed at the now-closed Trifalga on a pretty regular basis. We got to think about our 3 beautiful kids, especially my son- because he LOVES dinos. We enjoyed people-watching and listening in on the interesting conversations of the other patrons playing the holes.
Enjoy this gallery of fun!
After golfing we went back to the condo and walked the beach for shells and bought some groceries to have at the condo and just relaxed. The Next day we went to the Alligator Rescue Farm... Now, this is a place they are pretty well known for in Myrtle Beach- and it was outstanding! We definitely enjoyed this little spot full of Alligators and other creatures. Just LOOK at this!
Once we finished at the farm, we went for lunch at this darling little BBQ joint with the funniest sign. The wait was long, but the food was pretty good! We chose to head back to the condo and relax until it was time to get ready for our vow renewal.
I keep saying renewal, but in truth, it was not a renewal... We didn't exchange any vows when we got married, it wasn't part of our ceremony. So really we were vowing to be better than we had been the first 10 years. As the sun began to set we walked down to the beach below our condo, and met with our minister family member and his wife to say our vows. It was special for many reasons. Originally we had asked him to marry us, but he was on a world cruise at the time and was unable to even attend. So we got to share a part of our marriage with him now. His wife filmed our vows on the windy beach as the sun set. When we had finished our vows we left them to wander the beach and we took impromptu photos with my crappy camera on my phone... But the images kinda came out retro... a fun blur to the photos.
After a while it got chilly and we went back up to the condo to change. We went to a little pizzeria down the street, and when we came in- jumped in the rooftop hot tub 2 floors or so down. Looked over the city as the sun faded away. As the night rolled around Jake inevitably got tipsy, and clarity came in a haze of comments. His emotions got dark and twisty.
He started to talk about what a disappointment he was to his parents and how all he ever wanted to do was make them proud but all they could see what his drinking. He was hurt and felt like he was very successful at work, and he had a family and was carrying on the family name but he was still just a drunk in their eyes. Now, this broke my heart as I know without a doubt his parents are proud of him, and they love him so much. He is a good son and helps them when he can. He has always respected his mom and has been in awe of his father. They have never been anything but loving to him. I think his own guilt and shame about his drinking- and the fact that of course, his parents didn't love that he was drinking all the time... No one liked it unless they were getting drunk with him. But it doesn't change that they love him and are so proud of his accomplishments. I remember being very worried and waiting til he passed out but being very cautious to watch him... It was super windy and I didn't want him to go on the balcony and do something stupid that could end up with him getting blown over the ledge. Very stressful.
Now the next morning we were heading back to the airport and the hangover led him to need more... So the flight home again- was with a drunk husband... but this time he pretty much slept.... All in all I am happy we went.... I was disappointed that it wasn't as romantic as I wanted and we didn't really reconnect or make real plans on how we would move forward and be better... But, I learned that his past trauma and his desire to please his parents fueled his self-hatred and shame that enticed him to drink more... It wasn't all ME. I wasn't the only reason anymore... somehow that helped me feel better... Weird as it is... messed up.. But I still loved him and I wanted us to work... It was great to get away- especially since what came next was rough....
Be a phoenix, and rise above the crap you have to overcome. Life will kick you down, and life will try to tell you and consistently remind you that you are not enough... That's simply not true. The trials we face help us grow... From the ashes of our pain, we can rise like a phoenix! Until Next time.
